You bless him....

I've always been a fan of thematic worship services.
Ok, well, in a slightly sarcastic way. I enjoy them as much by using the worship songs to predict the offertory, to predict the sermon, to predict the altar call. ( i've been in the church way too long.)
I enjoy them the way a financial investor enjoys predicting the stock market... and enjoy the same satisfaction ( minus the money part) as when they get it right.

Thus, I will carry on with my last blog, in attempt to be thematic, to give you a song to listen to that somehow works with the theme of this blog... it works like this: press play on the video and then scroll and read. All I need to add are flashing lights & a pastor with a crisp white on black embroidered shirt w/ alligator shoes, and you'd have yourself a charismatic church service.



A lot of days I work out of coffee shops. there's 3 favorites with in a 1 mile radius..and for the sake of barring monotony- i rotate them. And A week ago, I started noticing someone.

A man about 60 - wearing a fisherman's vest and navy pants. Suffering from parkinson's disease.
He shakes- all the time. His hands can barely grasp the door to the shop. He comes in. Sits in a corner for about 20 minutes before meekly ordering an iced tea.

I saw him, watched, and prayed under my breath : " Lord bless that man, today"

Next day, at the next coffee shop, saw him again. repeat scenario. repeat prayer.
this time, my heart was engaged. I felt the depth of compassion and a hopelessness that I couldn't do anything for this man.

Day after THAT. 3rd coffee shop. Same man. Same scenario. Same prayer, but this time, an answer.

As best I know, I heard the Lord.

" You bless him", He said.

I stopped. paralyzed watching the man in his typical routine. The rest of the coffee shop couldn't be bothered to notice this man. My heart was beating out of my chest. " Okay, I said, the next time I see him, I will bless him. But How? "
Busted. Perfect op to talk to him, ask him how his day is, buy his tea- SOMETHING. Something- that I didn't do.

He left, I thought I was off the hook. When I left He was sitting on a chair outside of the shop. And again, the heart racing to match his shaking hands. What did I do? I ignored him again.
Busted again.

The rest of the day I argued with myself- that me " blessing him" wouldn't really do anything. I mean, What could I do?
But that me praying " Lord, Bless that man" - was it a selfish prayer to make me " feel good" about my Christianity?
Was it that I want to be the saint that says " Oh, yes, I will pray for you, be warm, be filled " And then walk away with my only priority that my needs are met?

In that moment, my entire walk with the Lord was challenged.
Am I really loving? Do I really love the Lord? I sure say I do.
But my actions are far from living it sometimes.

Man, do I get proud & revel in the "good deeds" or " acts of character" that I tend to showcase when more people are watching than when they don't... Wonder if all that is cancelled out when I then use those as a comparative scale as to why my Christianity is better than yours.

Let's be honest, sometimes I think I'm a badass for the kingdom.
It's just not true.

So, enough. Enough of Christianity to make me look good. Enough of Christianity to validate me.
It's not our job to be the savior. And me thinking that an " action" can save someone is a bit audacious...
We lift up the name of the Lord, He draws men to his side.
I say it all the time, in front of lots of folks.
But that doesn't mean that I'm out of the equation.

Where's the balance? Between living out our faith and living LOVE- through action and genuine belief?
Where's the balance in being a social justice nazi and wearing all the gear and ranting on twitter about
critical issues that we pretend to care about to self-validate?

And then there's the idea of genuinely being a servant of the most High. I choose that one.
I'm not sure how to do it right. I'm not sure how to do it in balance. But I'm open to learning.

I won't spend the next three paragraphs telling you how to be a fruitful and faithful epic Christian.
I will revert to my " theme-friendly" song. and say that I think the answer is in it.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Look full in His wonderful face.
And the things of the earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace.

I think THAT's where we loose the petty. the gossip, the lies, the inability to love, the self-validating ambition.

Turn your eyes upon Jesus.
Done.

I can't guarantee that the next time I see Fisherman vest guy that I won't chicken out and stay silent.
But I don't know that I won't.

Lord, bless that man. and Help me to also.